Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Pain of Coughing

OH DEAR, THIS COUGH IS KILLING ME. It's no laughing matter when you wake up in the morning and find yourself holding your chest and throat keeping the cough come through your larynx. This is the first time I've come sick in Korea. I don't want to take any medicine because I'm preventing this stupid strain of cough from immunizing in my body. I remember William in the Philippines when he got. Oh it was terrible and took awhile before he recovered. So, I just need to hold on to my chest and throat.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Realizations

When we are put in a place, the first thing that we do is to look for something that is not there. Where is the telephone? Where is the internet connection? Where is the heater? etc. Most of the time we fail to see what is there. Well, logically we won't be looking for something that is not missing. That's stupid. But the question is whether we really see what we have or do we deliberately refuse to accept the fact for one's existence.

Three days ago, I moved to a different dormitory. I was expecting that the new place would be better or at least the same with my previous dormitory. But I was disappointed. Everything I hoped for were just wishful thinking as I discovered the difference in my new dorm. I don't want to enumerate everything but I just want to tell you that it is really frustrating that I have decided not to stay for another month.

Then, here's the realization. Have I become so blind of the bright side that I opt to stay in the dark? Have I resigned myself not to see the good things in my dorm. Come on, things couldn't be that bad.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Vanity

Lately, I have been into improving myself, physically. Not that I am ugly, on the contrary I am gorgeous. Although I know that I could use a bit of working out with the way I look. But the problem is, I've never considered and given my appearance that much attention because in my opinion, a person should not be vain. What is more important is beyond what the human eyes ca see.

But when people see you, they don't judge you because you're kind, smart and funny. The initial tendency is to look at you and judge you by the price of your clothes and shoes, the gloss and shine of your hair, the flawlessness of your skin, the perfection of your eyes, nose and mouth. Trust me, I know because I am also guilty of this.

The saying, 'beauty is in the eyes of the beholder' is the motto of ugly people. Last time I checked that was what most fashion experts agreed upon. But don't get me wrong. I still believe in the beauty of diversity. We don't want to have clones of Tom Cruise or Angelina Jolie for that matter. I still believe that we all are beautiful although it makes it difficult for us to see this way because things have become clouded by all this fucked up standards on beauty.

Moreover, the seriousness of this tirade has come forth to the arena of the male species. Gone are the days when men (I say all men hetero or homo) can go out footloose without paying attention to his hair, skin, clothes, even underwear which wouldn't be seen anyway aside from the people you share bed with. Now, a lot of companies have been celebrating like crazy for the triumph they have achieved. They have injected the need for men to look as vain as women and I am so hating it.

In the Philippines, men using cosmetics can still be quite a taboo but rapidly changing. No one wants to be labeled gay for that matter. After all, being gay is being rated a little above an uneducated hobo or a sex maniac whore with STD. But nowadays a number of men uses lip gloss, oil remover, facial wash, etc. Why? I am not exactly sure but my speculation which has a probable cause would be that the idea of becoming as physically attractive is synonymous to social privileges. Now if you are gorgeous, you get to have things the easy way. If you're fate has turned its back on you, chances are you ust have to learn that patience is a virtue. There will be more effort for the less fortunate people, so to speak.

And so, here I am. A victim of social pressure. I keep striving hard to look better but I know I can't. And if I push myself too hard I know I'll just disappointed. My only refuge is to stay happy where I am.

You know, I look at myself in the mirror and stare at myself for a long time. I see who I am- small (5'2"), brown pimpled face, thick eyebrows, big brown eyes, flat nose, dark red lips, uneven teeth, a thin body, overgrown hair all over. I guess there's nothing really special about me that would make me look like any attractive guy, not even close. But what's wrong with being simple and ordinary.

Come to think of it, there are perks with being simple. First, you don't have pressure to maintain your looks. I know some friends who go through these long rituals just to look great. For whom? Definitely not for them but for others. They feel good when they have others' approval. Second, you save time and money. You don't need to spend so much effort for your hair and make-up. Simply donning what would make you look neat and clean is best. You also don't have to buy things which would only cause you some sickness, let alone cancer. Lastly, you feel comfortable knowing that you don't have to worry how you would look like if a sudden gush of wind blows your hair or someone hugs you and crumples your dress. Wouldn't that be a bliss?

Don't get me wrong. I am not adhering to the idea that people become lazy and forget how they appear. After all, I wouldn't want to be with pigs. What I am saying is that we take things moderately. Take things as they are. Accept the fact that we are different so we won't be able to have that perfect bods and faces.


But until now, I still find it difficult to reconcile these clashing ideas in my head. I am simple and happy. But I also want to look better so I am trying hard to develop my muscles and make my face flawless. But in my case, I do these things naturally. Exercise and healthy foods. Enough sleep is also another factor but I just don't have that kind of luxury.

So until I really decided which is which, I just have to live in oblivion. I just have to follow the trend and go with the flow, become hot and sumptuous. Yebah!
BREAK UPS

When girls feel that they have a lost in a game called love, they cry and ask what went wrong. They feel like they have been cheated after giving the relationship enough attention. But in the end, when there is no way of saving the thing between a couple, girls resort to sour graping.

Why do girls have to make up things just to make the guy feel like she is not so affected when in fact she is dying inside?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Mundane things on my mind lately

Moving out

Winter English Camp has been over for two days now. I'm left here in my dormitory all alone again... well at least in my floor. There are still a few staying here but this morning when I went out to jog, I saw some fellas carrying their luggage and going somewhere. I don't know where but it made me sad again to see people leaving. Don't get me wrong, I don't know these people and yet the feeling of emptiness starts to sink in... again. I've always told myself time and again that I am the type of person who doesn't like to see people going away for it breaks my heart. I prefer to be the one to move away, but because I can emphatize I try to stay for as much as I can. This fear of leaving is the same reason why I am afraid to go some place new.

And then the question, why do we have to feel down when people leave knowing that at the beginning, they would eventually go? Do we really think that there is the possibility that things stay the way they are?


Hair

Lately, I have been conscious about my appearance. Thanks to the gorgeous men I see walking around here in Korea. I've fallen in love with them as I have fallen in love to the idea that I should change my image if I want to look better.

And so, I started jogging in the morning after teaching English to my student. And I eat breakfast too to give me enough energy for the day. As they say, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I do feel better after doing this new routine but it takes so much discipline. And I'm talking about two days of extreme effort here. The cold wind that turns your sweat into popsicles isn't something to be ignored.

But the energy is not exactly the goal here. I am more concerned about toning my body. I am gorgeous and attractive, nothing can change that. But a little exercise can't hurt me. I am also after achieving those abs that you see men flaunting whenever they have the chance.

And speaking of chance, let me tell you that I will be in this public bathhouse again this Saturday which means I have to be naked again. I don't want to make my belly say "how do you do" to every living creature in that place. So, I'm taking the liberty of improving my ravishing looks which I hope does not become ravished.



Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Korean Events

Winter Intensive English Camp (Early Freshmen Program)
Date: Dec. 26, 2007 - Jan. 15, 2008
Venue: Hallym University, Chuncheon, South Korea
Contact: Eun Mi

Media Culture and Industry in Asia
Date: Nov. 15, 2007
Venue: KBI, Seoul, S. Korea
Date: Nov. 16, 2007
Venue: Hallym Univ., Chuncheon, S. KoreaContact: Dr.Kim Shindong

Freshmen Orientation
Date: Dec. 28, 2007
Venue: Hallym Univ., Chuncheon, S. Korea
Contact: John

Meeting with City University of Hong Kong
Date: Jan. 11, 2008
Venue: Hallym Univ., Chuncheon, S. Korea
Contact: Prof. Dawn Davis

English Tutor
Date: Sept - Dec 2007
Venue: Hallym International Dormitory
Contact: Ryan Cassidy


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