It's a bit funny because I also made a jounal entry last year for Christmas and it was about how I spent Christmas with my Korean friends and their family. This year, I spent Christmas with my own family and Filipino friends so it was also memorable. Something that made me wanna write this entry.
24 December, Wed.
I went to the office on Christmas eve because boss decided to hold office even at this time. There weren't many people in the office. Some have decided to go to their homes earlier to prepare for the coming Christmas. At the office, I was a bit shocked when I heard that boss had an accident. His left finger and foot were hurt Teacher Ricky had to rush him to the hospital. According to Teacher Judith, boss broke the sink and fell on him. I was saddened by this news knowing it is only hours before Christmas. Boss had some stitches and looked so poor on his bed when we left. On my way home, I kept asking myself why it had to happen to him on this day. I mean he could have had the accident after Christmas. But why have it on this very special day. Well, I don't exactly know the answer but I really felt sorry for boss.
25 December, Thurs.
2am, I decided to leave the house at this time. Got myself a taxi and the driver looked so scary. What pisses me off is the fact that Krus Na Ligas, my residence, is not far from the bus station but the meter of this old taxi was so fast by the time I got to the station, I paid nearly a hundred pesos. Lesson learned- Never get into an ugly taxi with an ugly driver, chances are, he'll gonna rip you off.
That's one thing about old and ugly (loss of adjectives) taxis, nothing good can come out of them. Yes, I may be generalizing but i don't want to take risk again ever. I've learned the hard way. Just last week, after attending the office's Christmas party, I hailed a cab and told him where we off to. Imagine, after getting in, the taxi driver told me: "Driver: Hindi ka naman hold-upper, ano? (You're not a robber, are you?)"
If you were in the my shoes, how would you feel be asked with this stupidet question I've heard in my life. I mean, I was all dressed up for the Christmas party holding lots of gifts and then an ugly driver who looks more like a hoodlum would ask you this question. In my mind that moment, I answered him, "You look more of that type so don't ask me if I am a robber!" But I didn't told voice that out. Maybe he's just really uneducated to say such kind of hideousness. Good thing I didn't blow my hat that time.
As I write this, I've remembered how people have mistakened me for someone else like: In a bookstore - a salesperson (I was wearing a uniform that time and a lady asked me to point out something for her) At school - a janitor (I was looking through the teachers' room's window looking for someone when an old professor spotted me and asked a colleague what the janitor (me) might want) In a taxi - yes, a robber On the phone - woman (always, the other party addresses me as 'Ma'am'. I always have to tell the other person, it's a sir, and they'll answer, 'yes ma'am')
On the bus, I couldn't sleep well so I just watched the movie being shown. It was about this high school spy named Alex Rider, which is the same title of the movie, trying to save London from this ugly guy who wanted revenge because he was ridiculed when he was young. Call that fair. I didn't enjoy the movie knowing how ridiculous it was trying to be the younger version of James Bond. What I did enjoy was the accent of the actors. British accent is surely fah-scinating. Of course, growing up in a society whose main accent came from the white citizens of the US (I don't want to call them albino monkeys even if they called us Filipinos brown monkeys). With all the American movies, songs, books, literature, how can Filipinos not get Americanized?
I think there's really nothing wrong getting influenced by the USA especially the language. I've always believed that if this language can unite the Filipinos in terms of language then I am in all favor to adopt it. This is not an issue of a language of our own since the original language has been long erased by the Spaniards. At a time like this, English should be reinforced and must become the native tongue of everyone.
The Filipino, which is basically a conglomeration of all the languages in the Philippines should be second. Only then can there be unification in the country. And may i just add that English should not just be taken as a subject in schools but rather a way of living.
Back in high school, we were always forced to speak in English but the teachers won't even follow their own rules. I saw my high school this Christmas and from there I saw an English zone sign. I remembered how in our time, there were also similar attempts to make the students speak in English. I was never good at speaking in English, even my writing skill is so mediocre I feel ashamed to even look at them.
But the problem I think is that Filipinos do not see the need to speak in English when they can always revert to Filipino, because the dichotomy exists: Speak in English and you're not Filipino. Speak in Filipino and you're not intelligent. I think, Filipinos should be taught that there is no other option but to learn English if they want to survive. I guess the reason why students in the province do not take speaking in English seriously is because they do not see any motivation. And by this I don't just mean the call center industry which is made for lazy people.
The world is big and English speaking citizens have more opportunity if they only take some extra effort. I am regretting why I had to let my chance pass of learning English back in high school. Yes, I blame my high school teachers because they did not motivate us to speak in English for they do not serve as examples. I could have been so much better today. Nevertheless, I have been working hard to improve my ability and learn English, and other languages too.
5:30am, at home
It was already dawn when I arrived home. I wanted to sleep but after drinking some coffee, my senses have all been roused so decided to just sweep the fllor and clean the house. After which I bought some tooth brush, shampoo and conditioner. (I left my toothbrush at Frank's place). At home, the Christmas tree has been placed minus the lights. When I was small, we used to have this small Christmas tree with Christmas lights that shine like candies around it.
I have always enjoyed watching the lights blink and even turn off the light and switch the radio on to listen to some Christmas carols. It was the best feeling I have ever felt within the year. I brought with me Levy's digicam so I can capture this Christmas moments. It is very rare that I can take pictures of my family during Christmas, so I am planning to buy my own digicam next year. My sister has grown now, but she has some skin problem that makes me worried. I hope that my sister grows up beautiful so she can find a rich husband and have a better life than we had. Not that our life is so difficult but I just feel that we can so much better.
(From top to bottom: Mother, our Christmas tree, Pop-sis-mom, sister, pop-me-m0m)
9:30am, at the church
Attending the Christmas mass has been a tradition, at least for me. I couldn't see my family that often so I make it a point to come to church with them. And also, when I go to church I always look for some familiar faces and say hello to them. Apart from Aira Pinera and Ms. Constantino, I didn't see anyone.
The church as usual is jam packed and what made the situation even crowded was that the weather decided to let fall. It was so heavy everybody wanted to squeeze in the shelter of the church. During the mass, it was kind of funny because I was so sleepy I often doze off and almost fell on the girl in front of me, good thing I didn't. But that was so close. I kept taking pictures during the mass I didn't care what the people might think of me. I am just happy that I have the chance to spend this Christmas and capture all the wonderful memories.
12:00 noon, at SM Lucena
Ate at Buddy's, mom ordered some noodles and pizza. This is the first time that we went out for Christmas and I am so happy about it. Maybe next year I can treat my family with my own money. It's just that this year, i had to spend my money on other things like the boarding house and food expenses. Nevertheless, it was a great lunch. No longer do we have to stay at home and get bored. Next year I intend to take my family out. If I can have a car, then so much better but if not, then a digicam and lots of money would do.
After lunch, we went to a bijou, saw 'Ang Tanging Ina Nyong Lahat' (The mother of all). It's not a great movie but I laugheda lot. I especially likedt he parts when Ai-Ai the main character and Eugene the sidekick would exaggerate situations or revert predictable punch lines. Really had a good laugh that time.
We had to separate after watching the movie. They went home and I walked in the rain going to another mall, to poop. Inside the toilet, I tried to send my friends some message so we can meet later but my phone gave up on me. I was so fucked off that time. To make things worse, after pooping, the toilet didn't work properly so I had to keep on flushing for the turd to go down. As I was flushing, I saw a purse in the next cubicle but there wasn't anyone there. Instinctively, I wanted to reach for it but I realized what if that was a bomn. My God, i really feared for my life. So I went out and told the maintenance to check that purse.
4:00pm, at Big Mak As I have told Mellany and Dazzle, we would meet at Big Mak Lucena, the local fast food store. I was craving for chicken (actually, I was always craving for chicken these days) so I ordered chicken from the counter. When I got the order, the food was so greasy plus the stupid cook put the chicken on the styro while it was hot so the styro melted. I promised myself not to eat at Big Mak ever again. And also they were so unhelpful and lazy. I asked for some help because I need to charge my phone and they wouldn't let me even if it's just for a short while. When they gave in, they asked me for a charger but since I didn't have, I couldn't charge my phone. They didn't even try to find a way for a simple request. Then the stupid lady in the counter gave me a tissue, literally a leaf of tissue. I am not surprised why Big Mak lost their market. Because they are not customer friendly. At 5:20, Mellany arrived. I was so angry because I don't like waiting for people. She was 20 minutes late and it was unacceptable. When she arrived I asked her why she was late but she wouldn't explain. The question now- why are Filipinos so fond of being late? Frank, my American friend, pointed out to me that Filipinos are so lazy that you need to show some temper to move their ass around. I couldn't blame Frank because that is certainly true, that if you don't know anyone in an office then they will not pay you attention. This is so similar to what my Korean friends have told me about their observations of the Philippines. The Philippines' growth is not so much hampered by thelack of resources but by the attitude of the Filipinos. The laziness has been so engraved in the culture that Filipinos do not see the point why they have to work harder. If I am going to be a businessman, I want someone who would be professional like me. At least, I can change the Philippines by starting with myself. 6:00pm, at Dazzle house There were some other people at Dazzle's house and knowing my friend, she was cold to me at first. I understand her. She has not seen me for a long time and she is just putting some wall between us so we won't hurt each other. It takes time to break that wall. Dazzle's parents asked me about some things in UP because her younger brother, Dexter, is soon to attend College. Dazzle's parents seemed to be so fond of me that I was thinking what if we become couples. I bet her parents would be more than happy to have me as their son-in-law. But it can't happen. My love for my used to be best friend is only as a friend and nothing more than that. Up to now, I still can't find the rigt person to share my life with because I am not looking. As I have told my friends, I don't like commitments now and I am better off without having additional responsibilites. I am happy with my present situation - free. Drank two bottles of San Miguel Pale Pilsen plus a performance of "This is the Moment". Dazzle's father didn't allow us to use the car so we just commuted going to Karen's place. On the way to Karen's, it was raining. Dazzle shared how Peewee broke up with her. I felt happy about it. At least she can come to her senses and realize that same sex relationship can never last. So fleeting and temporal. Why can't we have special someones? In my case, I am really not up for it. At 22, I am happy being single and free. Why would I rush things. I have so much time at the tips of my hands. I am telling them that people want someone to share their lives with because they are not happy with themselves. If you can be happy alone, why find somebody else? I am single, and sexy. 8:00pm, at Karen's luxurious house As expected, a house inside Ridgewood Park, an exclusive village in my province, is always a grand one. Karen's house in the village is indeed living to that expectation. I like their house, simple an stylish. Not so spacious but elegant. When I build my own house, I want to have a similar house mixed with the taste of Lourdes Reyes'. Luisa Olino was also there, as I have learned, she arrived at 6pm (the time Mellany and I arrived at Dazzle's). We ate a sumptous meal mainly composed of meat but the best part was blue berry cheese cake. Just loved it. During dinner, we talked about so many things like family problems (mainly of Luisa's problems) which really surprised me because I didn't expect that Luisa would be facing such kind of turmoil. According to her, she's now acting as the mother to her two siblings since Rio, the eldest already married and has a daughter now. Jun-jun, the youngest has grown up to be a problem child and Luisa's headache. Sayong's only problem is that she talks fast and teases her brother a lot which results in a complete royal rumble with matching flying iron and cellphone. We also talked about our love life and concluded that true love does not exist, that is my opinion. Of course they contradicted me, and said I can only say this because I have never fallen in love. Darn it, I don't want to fall and get hurt. Don't you ever wonder why old people called it falling in love? Because you are only meant to get hurt when you finally reach the ground, with bones all broken and blood spilt, and most of all, heart into pieces. The night went on with much merry making as Mellany, Dazzle and I sang songs with much laughter and loudness everyone just kept on laughing. Luisa had to leave with her boyfriend which according to her, she learned to love at a time when she needed support with all that are happening to her life.
11:00pm, Jeepney station
I was waiting for a jeepney when I glanced upon this cute guy. I guess he's only cute because his skin is fair which made me think - if I have a fairer skin and pointed nose then I am perfect. That is not to say that I am ugly, as I have said, I am already gorgeous. I just sometimes envy men with more gorgeous features and delight myslef into thinking how my life would have been if I look different from today.
12:00mn, at home
Official end of Christmas. I tried to document this Christmas celebration at home but I was so exhausted that I just decided to wait until I get to my boarding house. I fell asleep on the wooden couch and I occasionally wake up because my brother suddenly came and someone gave me the blanket which I didn't bother asking because I thought it was my brother. But I'm not sure. I was so exhausted I didn't really care about that anymore. This is one Christmas I want to do again next year.