Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Understand the second intent: get it right

Understand the second intent: get it right Getting it right is another task-focused intent that influences behavior. Have you ever sought to avoid a mistake by doing everything possible to prevent it from happening? When getting it right is your highest priority, you slow things down enough to see the details. You probably take a good, long look before leaping-if you ever leap at all. You may avoid taking any action because you feel unsure about what might happen as a result. When the intent to get it right becomes thwarted or threatened, everything around this person begins to seem haphazard and careless. To add insult to injury, people seem to address these concerns with increasingly fuzzy terms. When sufficient intensity is reached, the result is increasingly pessimistic and perfectionist behavior. Key Points: Understand that behaviors are sometimes driven by the intent to get it right. Again this isn’t necessarily bad or inappropriate. In fact, it may be exactly what the situation calls for. Know the dynamics of the intent to get it right. People concentrate on avoiding mistakes and slow down to pay more attention to all of the details. They may not take action because of concerns about the consequences. They may find fault with others for not caring enough. Recognize that the intent to get it right can lead to perfectionist behaviors. This can express itself as the withdrawal of the Nothing Person. They are sure that nothing works positively. Understand the third intent: get along A third is to get along with other people. This is necessary if you want to create and develop relationships. When there are people with whom you want to get along, you may be less assertive as you consider their needs and interests above your own. In other words, personal desires are of lesser importance than the intent to get along with another person. The problem is that when people who are focused on getting along with others are uncertain about how others feel about them, they tend to take reactions, comments, and facial expressions personally. Behavior becomes increasingly geared toward gaining approval and avoiding disapproval. The key points: Understand that behaviors are sometimes driven by the intent to get along. As we will see in subsequent chapters, establishing common ground is a good technique. But basing your actions – and your self-esteem- on your perceptions of how others see you is usually counterproductive. Know the dynamics of the intent to get along. People tend to feel unsure about how others feel about them, so they take reactions, comments, and facial expressions personally and behave in ways they believe will gain approval and or at least avoid disapproval. Recognize that the intent to get along can lead to approval-seeking behaviors. They don’t know where they stand.

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