Monday, March 24, 2014

JOURNAL | Left Behind

Down the Road
What is it about leaving that makes people pause for a while? 

Is it the thought that somebody is going to be out of your life and that things will not be the same? Is it the thought that you will have to adjust again to so many different daily routines? Or is it the thought that you are left behind?

In psychology, I remember learning about the separation anxiety disorder. Where people panic when somebody leaves them. I might just be infected with this disorder. Back in grade school, I had those moments when my mom or dad would take me to school and when they stepped out of the school gate, everything was in slow motion- and I felt like I was the most abandoned person in the world. Tears welled up in my eyes, and my chest felt like burning and about to explode. I had the urge to cry.

I was a cry baby, but I never showed it to anybody. In fact, I cried inside without letting people know. I was good at making up a show pretending how strong I was when deep inside I'm melting like a candle.

But we grow old and we pass this stage. What used to be an anxiety is now a realization that as human beings, we desire stability in all matters of life including social relationships. We fear change because we feel uncomfortable.

We feel sad not because somebody is leaving. Rather, we feel sad because we are left behind. And nobody wants to be left behind. Everybody wants to be the one to go, and not be the one to see someone go. Because it hurts to be left alone.

It does not matter what degree of relationship you have with a person- family, friend, colleague, classmate, or even a showbiz personality. A simple connection is enough for one to feel devastated when it's time to say goodbye. And I never really liked that part.

But that is life. We move on. We can't forever sulk and wish that things stay as they are because fact of  the matter is that change is the only thing permanent in this world.

Down the Road.

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